"I wanted to live deep and suck the marrow out of life...if it proved to be mean, then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it... or if it were sublime, to know it by experience.... Our life is frittered away by detail."
We were encapsulating in a 65 mph bullet of appreciation. Crunch! Face wrinkle into a brick wall to add corporeal reminders that "Life is short.. so love the ones you got, 'cuz you may get runover , or you may get shot."
I was already ENJOYing the quality of living and those who made impacts on my day to day- that sense of getting dunked into a vat of ice water that usually accompanies the sleeping had passed over me like the whisp of the reaper's cloak on the cheek of the wind. What I got from this crash was a slam into the arms of everyone I love- I saw who cared for me, saw who I needed to draw closer.
Ryan once said to me,
"Our hesitation on life is where we sleep."
Drowsy with fear. My recent fascination has been the own hesitancy of my own in telling those that I respect and hope to honour most that I care about them. My fear is rooted in rejection- but at this point, the fact that a speeding bullet didn't E-ject me from the passenger seat is enough to tell me how insignificant that fear is.
The opposite of fear is love.
It is absurd of me to associate one with the other.
It's the FIRST amendment for a reason.
You have the right to
SCREAM
YOUR
HEART OUT
YOUR
HEART OUT
Don't wait for love to crash you into a brick wall at the speed of death.
P.S. I escaped the *accident* with minor scrapes and bruises. I thank the universe for life. Also, I give Thanks to all of you who let me know you cared for me.
It truly means The World.
3 comments:
Hesitation, fear, love, don't seem to fit together yet the way they bounce off each other's meanings is so revealing. It is something I am learning all the time.
I am glad life is happening for you! it always seems to - but I'm glad it's good.
love, cait
i love you!
Love = Bravery, you say? I'd agree. We make our own choices in it that we must ACTIVELY pursue.
That's the only part I think you're missing; we have to be awake and engaged to love somebody. We have to make them things, make them loves. Send them oranges, give them pies they SWEAR are homemade when they really ain't. We gotta get off our asses and love.
I think the one thing this crash made me realize is that I do that. I make an effort to show those I love that I do.
This here blog? Proof that you do to.
Post a Comment